Traditional is the New Alternative - What people don't get about weddings
Hey wedding lovers,
My colleague brought me a clipping this morning from the weekend's NZ Herald all about how couples are ditching "traditional" weddings for less formal celebrations - the article discussed pop up weddings, backyard nuptials, small weddings and alternatives to wedding cakes.
Obviously, I love all this stuff - that's why I have a wedding blog! I love seeing people doing something different from the big white wedding - the funny thing I find about it is that to me is what a "traditional" wedding is versus what they call "alternative" weddings. According to the article, a traditional wedding has a big guest list, a long church ceremony followed by an expensive dinner party. This article is talking about small and practical weddings as if it's some wild new trend - the reality is people are returning to a simpler style of wedding that never actually went away. I for one am so glad that this way of doing weddings is gaining ground - people are realising that idea of a "traditional" wedding is not for them - and actually they don't have to out spend all their friends in order for everyone to have a great time.
Ask your grandparents about what their wedding was like and they'll tell you - I'm betting it was a simple family affair that involved their community. It wasn't flash, it was handmade, locally sourced and full of love from beginning to end.The weddings of our grandparents time were a celebration with their community - they got married in the church where they were baptised, in the neighbourhood they grew up in and had a piece of cake and a cup of tea in the hall afterwards. Maybe they weren't part of a church community, they just went down to the registry office and signed the papers. Then they came back and had a party in Auntie Glenda's garden or at the RSA.
Before celebrity and royal culture made us think everyone needs to have a wedding like we were millionaires, things were very different. Finally people are realising they can have a beautiful and simple celebration, locally sourced, made from scratch and full of love. This whole idea was my inspiration behind Rosemary & Twine, moving away from the expensive and unnecessary elements of a wedding day and focusing on what truly matters - you and the person you love, celebrating with your family and community in a meaningful and thoughtful way.
What a wedding was never meant to be was a competition. It's not about who had the best cake, who's venue was more expensive, who's flash mob was the biggest surprise or which first dance was the most touching. That show "Four Weddings" is kinda hilarious trash TV but it's also pretty terrible. I really don't like the idea of rating other people's weddings, because at the end of the day it's not about who's wedding was "The Best". It's about loving one another, committing to each other for life, and celebrating that with your family and your community.
Anything that helps people bring it back to that and focus on those four beautiful things is good in my opinion! The pop-up weddings, backyard nuptials, and having "doughnut walls" instead of wedding cakes are just ways of bringing these real traditions into 2017.
If the simple and home grown style of wedding sounds like what you're into, then I really hope you do stick around here and enjoy the gorgeous simple weddings I've been privileged to share and read my advice articles. Planning events is my job and I'm always happy to offer you advice, feel free to leave a comment or contact me through my contact page!
Until next time!